When your best isn't good enough

Have you ever felt like nothing you do is good enough? Like everyone in the world is aginst you? You just can't keep up with the house, the kids, the laundry? You feel drained, depressed and just plain worthless.

I have. A lot more than I would like to. My husband always gets upset when I confide this to him, like it's his fault or he could change something. It wasn't and he can't. This is a ME problem. My insecurities, my shortcomings. It's only something I can change.

We talked about this one week at the Mom's group that I attend. It really impacted me and I have been thinking about this for weeks. I know that I am faced with this feeling of being worthless much more then I would like. And I found out there that there are many more women/moms who feel the same way. Some have better situations than I do and some do not, but I find it doesn't matter what financial/marital/education/spiritual position you are in, we are all faced with this feeling.

I have been doing some soul searching over the last couple weeks, really dwelling on this dilemma that I am faced with. What can I do when I feel worthless to realize my true worth? Here are some things that have helped me.

1. What are you good at? Make a list of 3-5 things that only I can do{or do best}or have done today/yesterday/this week .

2. Take a breath. Take some time for myself or do something I'm good at. Even 5 minutes to take a shower and use your special shampoo that smells amazing, dance to your favorite song, go for a run, do a quick craft, or even just take a nap.

This may sound selfish and will be very hard to do. But taking this 5 minutes will just clear your head so you can think clearly. Many times, this feeling comes because we are too stressed, too tired, too hurried to realize your value so our judgement is clouded.

3. Be Selfless. Do something for someone else. Take a meal to someone. Help someone with their groceries. Do anything for someone else. When we help others, we get this intrinsic satisfaction. It's not selfish or wrong to feel good when you help someone, I think that feeling was put there for a reason - so we would help people.

4. Pray. Meditate, do yoga or talk to God. Sit in silence. Quiet your heart. Quiet your mind. Think back to that list you wrote down {probably} quickly and think about everything that goes into each item you listed. You did that. You were the key to that being done.

5. Be You. Stop comparing yourself to others. Stop comparing yourself to someone's idealized view of you. You can only be the you that you are. You are only capable of whatever YOU can do.

I am for sure not the mom who is dressed to the nine's when they go to the store - I am the mom who is in jeans with snot stains and spit up on her shirt. I am not the mom who has the photo ready house {I would like to be} - no I shove everything into closets and hope no one notices the dust under the sofas when people come over. I am not even close to the perfect woman, mom or wife - but I am the best woman, mom and wife that I can be.

Do this exercise. 

{We did this at our Mom's group so I am not taking credit for this, but it helped}

- Take a dollar bill, preferably brand new, no rips, tears or bends. How much is it worth? 100 pennies. This is you.
- Take that dollar bill and crumble it up. Throw it on the floor and step on it. You are representing life knocking you down, throwing you down and stepping on you.
- Pick that dollar bill up. Open it up. Doesn't look as pretty does it? But if you walked into a store, what would it be worth? 100 pennies. Realize you still have the same value as you did before life beat you down. 

I keep my dollar bill on the refrigerator. I am in the kitchen most of the day and it serves as a constant reminder of what my true value is to...myself.

"People" {people in your present, past and in your thoughts} will always find ways to make you doubt yourself. They will always find a way to make you doubt your service to your home, your kids and your spouse. I have found in the last several weeks that these things help. They help to silence the "people" who I hear telling me I'm not good enough or I'm not doing enough. Specifically when I pray. When I pray, I am always brought back to the thoughts that I am always good enough for God. This page is in the last page of our book. I have ripped it out and keep it by my bedside.

What do you find most helpful when you are feeling like your best isn't good enough?